Archive for April 24, 2012

Ari | April 30, 2012
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Word of the Day

For those who have never heard of a “jive turkey,” here’s a definition, courtesy of Urban Dictionary: “One who speaks as though they know what they’re talking about…though they do not; a bullshitter.”

Enjoy, you jive turkeys!

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Ari | April 29, 2012
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R.A. Dickey’s Awkward Photo With Peyton Manning and Todd Helton

The fact that Peyton Manning and Todd Helton were University of Tennessee quarterbacks at the same time is old, well-known news. That’s why you shouldn’t be surprised to see them pose for this picture at Coors Field this afternoon.

Peyton Manning

But what the hell is R.A. Dickey doing there? He’s not even looking at the camera and seems like the dude that no one wanted in the picture.

Well, it turns out that Dickey was at UT at the same time as Peyton, though he didn’t play football there. Either way, it’s a funny picture, especially if you take it at face value and think Dickey doesn’t belong there.

(Photo: Jim Caple/ESPN.com)

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Ari | April 29, 2012
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Just a Few Weird Things From Last Night

Let’s start off with JaVale McGee:

Has anyone ever heard of whale ears? Do whales even have ears?

And can someone tell me what this means?

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Ari | April 28, 2012
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Warren Sapp Likes Drugs

Check out what Warren Sapp stumbled upon.

Can’t help but wonder what ethical drugs are.

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Ari | April 28, 2012
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Pure Comedy

Not much to say about this… other than cute.

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Ari | April 28, 2012
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Justin Verlander is Just Your Average Joe

Even though Justin Verlander won the 2011 MVP and Cy Young awards, the Detroit Tigers’ ace doesn’t put himself above anyone. Verlander checked out a New York City little league game after appearing at the MLB fan cave and decided to tweet a bit about it.

Giovanni is one lucky kid.

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Ari | April 26, 2012
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Logan Morrison’s Bad Idea

Most people won’t even donate a penny to a homeless person, but Logan Morrison certainly isn’t of that type.

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Ari | April 26, 2012
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Favorite Blast from the Past?

Find each individual Blast from the Past here.

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Ari | April 26, 2012
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Blast from the Past: Matt Stairs Likes Getting His Ass Hammered

Phrasing and word choice are everything, and Matt Stairs proved that to be true back in 2008.

Towards the end of his career, Stairs became a pinch-hitter with out of the park power. He only had 17 regular season at-bats with the Phillies in 2008, so when he hit a game-winning bomb in the playoffs, Stairs was rather emotional:

When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys — there’s no better feeling than to have that done.

See? Couldn’t he have just talked about camaraderie and brotherhood?

Instead, he comes off as a dude who craves a dick up his bunghole. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but phrasing and word choice are everything.

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Ari | April 26, 2012
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Where Have You Been?

Looks like Michael Kidd-Gilchrist has been too occupied with winning national championships and working out for the 2012 NBA draft.

No. No, they did not. With one game left, they’re 11 games behind the No. 8 seed.

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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How We Know Jimmer Didn’t Make It

Jimmer Fredette was “the man” in college, although he couldn’t fully capitalize on being “the man” at BYU—if you know what I mean.

Anyway, he’s much less “the man” now that he’s in the NBA, and nothing proves that fact more than his sneaker sponsor. He didn’t get Nike. Even Reebok and Adidas passed.

But check out who didn’t.

Spalding! Every player’s dream!

Check out the sneakers here.

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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Steve Francis Finds a New Career?

Like many players, Steve Francis came to the New York Knicks and his basketball career instantly went downhill, ultimately leading to his retirement in 2008 at age 31. However, the early end to his basketball career didn’t damper Francis’ spirits, and the former all-star point guard went into music.

Without further ado, here’s Francis’ “Finer Things.” Thank me (or, more likely, look up my address so you can shoot me) later.

I think it’s safe to say it would behoove Francis to find another use for his time and money.

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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Shit Happens

Like this.

Or this.

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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Ricky, You Are Not the Father!

Classic mistake.

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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What About Ryan Fitzpatrick?

Really? So Ryan Fitzpatrick isn’t actually worth $59 million over six years?

Tell us something we don’t know, Nick.

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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Michael Adams on Gender Roles

It’s #ihatewomenwed, so you know Michael Adams of the Arizona Cardinals has been ripping on women all day. Here’s what he has to say about gender roles:

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Ari | April 25, 2012
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Not the Best Choice

Apparently Jeff Green is hungry.

So first of all, the Boston Celtic who missed the entire season after undergoing heart—yes, heart—surgery wants food that definitely isn’t good for his heart. Secondly, if someone would deliver you food upon request, wouldn’t you ask for something better anyway?

Go figure.

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sam | April 25, 2012
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C’Mon Man…

Roddy White must have missed just a few too many grammar lessons in his school days.

So, Roddy, you’re also a falcons right? And are you guys going to take pics in photobooth like middle school girls or is the veteran cornerback, who once nabbed 10 interceptions in a season, going to get lots of picks?

Just wondering.

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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JaVale McGee’s New Look

Probably the best idea he’s had in awhile.

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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Booby’s Latest Statement on the World

Daniel Gibson has struck again with another “fact” about life.

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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Tony Allen’s Joke Gets No Love

Wanna hear a joke?

Don’t worry, the punchline’s not there, though Tony Allen’s sentence structure is rather comical.

There it is!

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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That’s What She Said

Sorry, couldn’t resist. Just assume Jared Dudley isn’t talking about Phoenix’s must-win game tonight against the Utah Jazz.

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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Jason Pierre-Paul

Jason Pierre-Paul is an all-pro defensive end, but he’s clearly not an all-pro boyfriend or writer.

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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Brandon McDonald Has a Short Fuse

Ah, life of a pro football player. You can just tweet out a housecleaning request and have a diehard fan instantly at your service.

Not really, though, and Brandon McDonald of the Detroit Lions found out the hard way.

Didn’t take him long to lose patience.

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Ari | April 24, 2012
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Jose Canseco With the Pun

Because he’s Jose freaking Canseco, Jose freaking Canseco gets lots of hate tweets. But he has his arsenal of responses.

Bam.

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