Spring Training is almost over, and Logan Morrison tweeted a sexual joke.
Going down south. get ur minds out the gutter this doesn’t involve me writing the alphabet w my tongue. It does involve big sticks and balls
— Logan Morrison (@LoMoMarlins) March 31, 2012
Pretty sure he’s talking about baseball, considering Miami is south of the Marlins’ spring home in Jupiter.
Just three days after confusing our opinion on his sexuality, Chad Ochocinco did a 180 with this gem of a tweet.
At Walgreens & i asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, “Make it 52″
— Chad Ochocinco (@ochocinco) March 31, 2012
Apparently Ty Lawson missed last night’s Mega Millions drawing. Notice the date on the tweets.
Bout to buy like a 100 tickets for this mega millions.. Where u at @J_Stone1zero
— Ty Lawson (@TyLawson3) March 31, 2012
Somebody won already ….. -_- asbbdeidonxidjrbshduejdheowk!!!!!!!
— Ty Lawson (@TyLawson3) March 31, 2012
Not because your basketball talents aren’t primed for the NBA, but because your understanding of the English language could use some refinement.
The Man Above doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle, with that being said I’m taking avenge of These Opportunities So Should Yall!!!!
— Mike Kidd-Gilchrist (@MikeGillie14) March 31, 2012
Here’s a brief lesson: You cannot “take avenge” on something. However, you can take REVENGE on something.
Having said that, you probably meant “advantage,” rather than “avenge” or “revenge.”
Apparently Erving Walker isn’t Chris Johnson.
Florida’s point guard ordered a $3 taco at a street vendor and fled without paying. After being chased by cops, Walker was arrested and charged with retail petit theft and resisting an officer without violence.
According to ESPN, Walker said he was “just playing around.”
Could be a fun game. Maybe Walker wanted a little taste of real-life GTA.
Carlton Powell recorded just one tackle in his rookie season with Atlanta, but that doesn’t mean the defensive tackle can’t chime in about the $540 million Mega-Millions jackpot.
Statisticians say if you’re a Tebow fan u have a better chance of winning
— Carlton Powell (@PowPow_97) March 30, 2012
Then he made quite the sexual innuendo.
Lottery balls have to be the most scrutinized balls in all history
— Carlton Powell (@PowPow_97) March 30, 2012
He would be really, REALLY happy.
If I won the lotto I would react like the dudes on Maury when they find out they are not the father
— Torrey Smith (@TorreySmithWR) March 30, 2012
Here’s what Smith’s referring to, although you can probably use your imagination…
It all started with this classic misspelling:
The best part of my day is enter acting with my fans
— Roddy White (@roddywhiteTV) March 29, 2012
He responded to critics with this:
Just got a thousand tweets about miss spelling interacting can I ask why I’m not perfect trying to hide the phone from the flight attendant
— Roddy White (@roddywhiteTV) March 29, 2012
After tweeters nagged him for misspelling “miss spelling,” White was fed up.
Ok wise ass mother fuckers that was 3 hours ago excuse my language
— Roddy White (@roddywhiteTV) March 30, 2012
Roddy White, ladies and gentlemen! Making UAB and the Atlanta Falcons extremely proud!
Spring Training lasts slightly more than a month for most MLB players. Keep that in mind when you see Matt Kemp’s photo.
The car’s are being shipped 2 LA!! LA i will see u in 2 days! #OpeningDaylockerz.com/s/196869048
— Matt Kemp (@TheRealMattKemp) March 30, 2012
Soon enough, we may have to call Kemp the Jerry Seinfeld of baseball.
Also, come on Matt. Cars. Not car’s.
Syracuse freshman Rakeem Christmas has plenty of time on his hands since the Orange were eliminated from the NCAA tournament, but unlike teammate Brandon Triche, he’s not devoting his newfound time to his studies. No, instead he’s watching children’s movies and using poor grammar on Twitter.
@R_Xmas25: No lie i jst watched #HowToTrainYourDragon n it was crey
— Rakeem Christmas (@R_Xmas25) March 30, 2012
I’ve already said it 44 times so here goes number 45: I’m really excited to be a Jet! Haha! All joking aside it’s truly an honor…
— Tim Tebow (@TimTebow) March 30, 2012
…to be a Jet and I’m anxiously looking forward to going to work with all of my new teammates and coaches.
— Tim Tebow (@TimTebow) March 30, 2012
Fireman Ed and the rest of Jets nation, I’m gonna play my heart out for you.J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS!
— Tim Tebow (@TimTebow) March 30, 2012
God Bless.
Andy Rautins took his talents overseas, and while the competition isn’t as challenging, elevator rides are apparently on a whole other level.
Elevator awkwardness in Europe compared to the States is like making the jump from high school to the League #Whoa
— Andy Rautins (@andyrautins1) March 29, 2012
How am I supposed to be productive when Nick Bellore is tweeting about Real Housewives of NJ?
How am I supposed to be productive with Real Housewives of NJ on all day?
— Nick Bellore (@NBELLORE54) March 29, 2012
At least someone at Syracuse is… Not trying to call out Fab Melo, but really trying to call out Fab Melo.
Been on my school grind this week, I feel like im getting things done
— Brandon Triche (@Bswish20) March 29, 2012
Let’s give Triche the benefit of the doubt here and assume he’d be on his “school grind” even if the ‘Cuse wasn’t eliminated last weekend.
Carlton Mitchell has appeared in 16 games in his first two seasons out of South Florida, amassing just three receptions and 40 total yards.
Perhaps the wide receiver’s game action has been limited because he spends too much time tweeting. After all, he has posted 19,340 tweets.
However, regardless of how Mitchell allocates his waking hours, he delivered this gem of a tweet tonight, and for that, we thank him:
When I die, I want to be buried with some random animal bones like a giraffe or Pinguin (or both)… just to confuse future archaeologists ^_^
— Carlton Mitchell (@C_Mitch18) March 29, 2012
Sounds like a master plan, Carlton! Burying yourself with “Pinguin” bones would really throw archaeologists off.
Dominique Franks of the Atlanta Falcons is apparently fed up with ladies asking for marriage:
Next woman that say he want my Last name!!!!! Ima tell her I'll buy her a Jersey!!! Is that fair?!
— Dominique Franks (@DFranks24) March 29, 2012
However, as one of his followers points out, Franks could soon find himself in a Benny the Jet-like pickle.
@DFranks24 ur about to have everyone tell u they want ur last name!!!! U better order ur jersey in bulk and past them out! :)
— amie willis (@amiemwillis) March 29, 2012
Remember the scene in The Longest Yard when the cons slip estrogen pills into a guards’ pill bottle? Looks like someone did the same to Chad Ochocinco, possibly offering an alternative explanation to his shoddy campaign with the New England Patriots.
I wish I could meet all of u. I want to talk about Life. Ur dreams and ambitions, what motivates y'all. We can learn so much from 1 another
— Chad Ochocinco (@ochocinco) March 29, 2012
It’s 1 am on a Tuesday night during the NFL offseason. In other words, there’s not much for a pro football player to do right now.
Fortunately for Aaron Williams of the Buffalo Bills, however, some classic ’90s Nickelodeon could mitigate the boredom of a night like tonight. This shouldn’t be all too shocking, considering the second-year cornerback was born in 1990.
bout to sit back and watch either “Hey Arnold” or “Rocket Power”
— Aaron Williams (@ajwilliams23) March 28, 2012
